Are we the champions?
by The Vicious One
Summary: Celebi's got something to tell Lugia, and it's not going to be buttered toast! ^__^ PG-13 for Weird Content. Plus, expect a twisted version of Queen's 'We Are the Champions' in this fic as well!


Are We the Champions?  
  
Disclaimer: No, no, no, no, no...I...do not...own...pokémon...nor Queen's song  
'We Are the Champions'.  
  
  
THE FOLLOWING FANFICTION IS ENTIRELY FICTICIOUS. ANY SIMILARITY   
TO THE HISTORY OF ANY CHARACTERS, LIVING OR DEAD (OR ANY ACTUAL   
EVENTS), IS ENTIRELY COINCEDENTAL AND UNINTENTUAL.  
  
EXCEPT WE ARE SPECIFICALLY NOTED OTHERWISE IN THE FANFICTIONAL   
CREDITS. ALL CHARACTHERS ARE IMPERSONATED AND NO CHARACTERS   
HAVE ENDORSED ANY PART OF THIS FANFICTION.  
  
(DEAR GOD, HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE SPOOF CLERKS???)  
  
  
Lugia walks into U.D.  
  
Lugia: Hey, Mewtwo, I was jus-DEAR GOD!!!  
  
He sees Mewtwo and Mew making out.  
  
Mew: Hey, Lugia! Do you mind?!  
Lugia: Mewtwo? Mew? TOGETHER?!  
Mewtwo: What, can a clone and it's predecessor make out?  
  
Lugia passes out.  
  
Mewtwo: Does he know Celebi went gay and dumped you?  
Mew: No. Besides, I was wanting to leave him anyways. So, Mewtwo, wanna   
make out again?  
Mewtwo: Oh, yes... (They continue making out)  
  
Later, that night, Mewtwo and Mew are watching TV, when...  
  
Celebi: (Walks in) (Much more girlish voice) Hi, Mewtwo. Hi, Mew.  
Mew: Oh, be quiet, you fruit.  
Celebi: Oh, stop. You knew it was comin', Mew.  
Mewtwo: Lemme guess, Meowth drives you nuts, doesn't he? Heh heh...  
Celebi: Him and Pikachu got married yesterday. But...  
Mew: But what?  
Celebi: But...I want a big pokémon to love on moi.  
Mewtwo: Who would that be?  
Celebi: Lugia.  
Mew: O.O  
Mewtwo: O__o A nit much, don' you think?  
Celebi: But he's a big, buffed up, stud-muffin.  
Mew: Mewtwo, I feel sick...  
Mewtwo: Me too.  
Celebi: Hey, Mewtwo? Where is he?  
Mewtwo: I dunno. Hey, Mew. Let's go to my room.  
Mew: Ooooh, Mewtwo...you big hunk o' pokémon.  
Mewtwo: Let's go... (They go to Mewtwo's room, and lock the door)  
Celebi: Ok, then, I guess I'll see you later.  
Mew: (From behind the door) Mmmm, yeah!  
Celebi: Ok, then...  
Mew: Oh...Ohhh...Ohhhhhh!  
Celebi: I'll...I'll be goin' now.  
Mew: OH! OH! OH! YES, MEWTWO! YES!  
Celebi: Ok...Ok, I'm going!  
Mew: OH, OH, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!  
Celebi: YOWZA!!! (Immediately leaves)  
  
Mewtwo and Mew come out of his room. Mewtwo is now wearing a silky robe,   
and Mew is wearing a blue one.  
  
Mewtwo: Whew! You're one of the others, Mew.  
Mew: (Gasping for breath) I know...I just...I just love...to play with you...Mewtwo.  
  
Meanwhile, at Whirl Islands...  
  
Lugia: (Watching Weakest Link) I'm surprised this still comes on.  
  
Celebi breaks in.  
  
Celebi: (Sing-song voice) HELLOOOOOOOOOO!  
Lugia: Huh? Celebi?  
Celebi: Hi, Lugia...  
Lugia: Um...hi...  
Celebi: So...what'cha doin?  
Lugia: Uh...  
Ceelebi: What's the matter?  
Lugia: Uh, gee...I, uh...I gotta go.  
Celebi: (Puts his hand on Lugia to stop him) Hold it, Lugia. Can I tell you   
something?  
Lugia: Celebi, I got to leave!  
Celebi: No, you don't. I'm just to tell you I like to...hang with you. ~__^  
Lugia: Gee, thanks... Um, well, goodbye...  
Celebi: Lugia, I'm gay.  
Lugia: O.O O...k...  
Celebi: What, can't I just say 'hi' to my best friend?  
Lugia: I thought Meowth was.  
Celebi: He and Pikachu are married.  
Lugia: Then that means...  
Celebi: I need a new friend.  
Lugia: And if you're gay, then that means...  
Celebi: (Licks Lugia's lips) Hee hee, you're my friend...  
Lugia: (Throws Celebi off him, and flies away quickly)  
Celebi: You can run...but you can't hide. (Follows him)  
  
Back at U.D.  
  
Lugia: MEWTWO!!!  
Mewtwo: Huh, what's up?  
Lugia: Celebi...is gay...  
Mew: Duh, do you think we knew that?  
Lugia: Well, he tried to seduce me!  
Mewtwo: Well, Mew seduced me, and I loved it, but you don't see me scared   
half to death, do you?  
Lugia: No, bu-  
Celebi: (Sing-song voice) Luuuugiaaaaaaa...  
Lugia: Oh, grandma! (Runs and hides in Mewtwo's room, and then walks out   
totally disgusted) You guys are sick...  
Mew: Why?  
Lugia: Your bed has stains on the sheets which I was trying to hide under.  
Mewtwo: Yeah, we do tend to leave a mess when we make love.  
Lugia: ...Use protection next time.  
Mew: Why?  
Mewtwo: The chances of Mew getting pregnant is-  
Celebi: (Comes in) Lucy! I'm Home!  
Lugia: My name ain't Lucy!  
Celebi: Lugia, let's just be lovers...it won't hurt.  
Lugia: But, it's...wrong! Ain't it, Mewtwo?  
Mewtwo: (Sarcasticly) But, Lugia, you and Celebi make a great couple!  
Mew: Hee hee, like us?  
Celebi: Please, Lugia?  
Lugia: No...I won't become a fruit.  
Celebi: Aww, Lugia...  
Mew: Go on, Lugia...it might be fun to be gay...  
Mewtwo: Mew!  
Mew: Well, it might!  
Lugia: Grrrr...Ok...  
Celebi: See, Lugia...homos are pokémon too.  
Lugia: I'm sure...  
  
Lugia picks up Celebi.  
  
Celebi: Remember when I almost kissed you?  
Lugia: (Annoyed) Yes...  
Celebi: Let's finish it.  
Lugia: Ok... (I'm gonna shoot myself...)  
  
Celebi kisses Lugia on the mouth for 5 seconds.  
  
Celebi: See, Lugia? I may be gay, but I'm sti-  
  
Lugia then starts kissing Celebi.  
  
Celebi: (Huh?! I don't beileve it! Lugia was hiding his secret all this time?!)  
  
Lugia finally lets off.  
  
Celebi: Lugia...  
Lugia: Celebi, you knew I was just ashamed.  
Celebi: I know.  
Mew: How romantic...(Sighs)  
Mewtwo: (Puts a Queen CD in and puts it on...) I payed my dues...  
Mew: Time after time...  
Celebi: I've received my sentence....but commited no crime.  
Lugia: And past mistakes...I've made a few.  
Mew: (As Celebi and Lugia sing) (Sighs) Mewtwo, let's go to bed...  
Mewtwo: I'm right behind you, lover.  
Celebi: Weeeee are the champions, my friends.  
Lugia: And weeeee'll keep on fighting till the end.  
Celebi and Lugia: We are the champions, we are the champions.  
Lugia: No time for losers-  
Celebi: Yes, we are the champions...  
Celebi and Lugia: OF THE WORLD!!!  
  
Meanwhile, in Mewtwo's room...  
  
Mew: Mewtwo...I'm too sick to do it.  
Mewtwo: Aw, Mew...they're just gay...  
Mew: Yeah, but you know what they say. If you can't beat 'em...  
Mewtwo: Do 'em! (They start making love)  
  
Later at Whirl Islands...  
  
Lugia: (Watching Weakest Link) You know, I think this a bit weird...  
Celebi: (In Lugia's lap) Naw, it's just awkward.  
Lugia: Celebi...  
Celebi: I'm kidding. It's just cause I love you.  
Lugia: I love you too, Celebi. (Kisses Celebi)  
  
Outside Whirl Islands...  
  
Eneti: Oh, crap!  
Raikou: I knew it!  
Suicune: Wait till Vicious hears this!  
  
END??? 


End file.
